I got on a train from Bolton to Manchester Airport. It stopped at Piccadilly and threw everyone off. "This train is terminating here due to technical reasons". They said go to platform 10. I got to platform 10 and discovered that that train was 20 minutes late so I went back to platform 13. The next train at platform 13 said on the screens that it was going to the airport but the driver knew different and said that it was going back to Wales. The next train really was going to the airport - but by this point was so crowded what with all the people from the other two trains that I couldn't get a seat.

I got to the check in desk at Manchester Airport. "Your plane is boarding in 10 minutes." Thank goodness that I had got there in time. I sprint down to the gate. "Is this right for the Bristol plane?" I asked meekly. "Yes but it's going to be delayed." Nearly two hours later I got on a plane from Manchester Airport to Bristol - they plied us with drink and profusely apologised for the delay which was due to "Technical reasons". The taxi-driver told me that lightning had hit the control tower earlier in the day and that this was the root cause of the delay.

I got on a plane from Bristol back to Manchester. It departed on-time and arrived on-time. But I had a strange sensation as we marched like sheep through the twisty-turny maze of corridors that we were the wrong side of the glass barriers and consequently in Terminal 1 - not Terminal 3. When we all got to passport control they refused to let us through as we were not where we were supposed to be and such things would not be tolerated. We were instructed to remain by the crummy seating area until someone could come and get us. This of course was one of those moments that can only happen when you tell a trickle of 50 or so people that they are trapped in a gradual and vague kind of way. There was plenty of moaning and gnashing of teeth and bitchy utterances. After quite a bit of standing around we were led all the way back round Terminal 1 to the offending door where we had gone astray by a rather sheepish looking handling agent. There may have been a "technical reason" for this but it looked more like a human cock-up to me.

I got on a train from Manchester Airport to Bolton. It stopped at Manchester Oxford Road and threw everyone off. "This train is terminating here due to technical reasons". I was just speechless.